How to Say Goodbye: The Loss of Language and Culture

What does a girl who spent her elementary years at a Vietnamese educational boot camp before flying to the United States and a girl who’s parents fled Vietnam via refugee boats during their middle school years only to meet and raise three Vietnamese American children have in common? Easy. They both barely speak Vietnamese today.

The girl who flew over to the U.S. was once fluent in Vietnamese, only to slowly lose grasp of the language as her schooling years began. Daily use of English with her friends and teachers became entangled with her use of Vietnamese, which she spoke with her parents and family. Sentences that she was once able to articulate fully in Vietnamese now bore the telltale impact of the English language with simple fillers such as “ok” or “like.” One day, the words she once knew were lost to her.

Elsewhere, the youngest of three Vietnamese American children struggles to grasp onto the last bit of her connection to the Vietnamese language. She knows enough; The standard greetings and conversational vocabulary, to get by when speaking to her elder family members and other Vietnamese seniors. Though, with two elder siblings who barely speak Vietnamese at home and who seemingly embrace every facet of Western ideals, it was unlikely that she would ever be good enough to call herself a true “bilingual.”

The struggles of these two young Vietnamese Americans are not unlike many other minority Americans of the same generation. Losing one's connection to their native culture and language is what numerous minorities experience as they grow up in English-speaking countries such as the U.S., and this issue has only been exacerbated in the recent year due to the COVID-19 pandemic that swept the globe. Those who long to visit or return to their native countries can no longer do so and the chance to speak their native language with those fluent is now gone. With social distancing and lock-down measures in place, human interaction has been limited to screens and unreliable phone calls. In such a tumultuous time, it becomes clear how important language is to one’s identity and connecting to those around them.

In such a tumultuous time, it becomes clear how important language is to one’s identity and connecting to those around them.

Language is the principal method that people utilize to communicate with one another. It helps express emotions, whether that be frustration or happiness, and is what separates humans from other mammals. The latest edition of the Ethnologue, a reference publication, lists a total of 7,117 living languages worldwide; and out of 7.5 billion inhabitants, 1.5 billion, which is roughly 20% of the Earth’s population, speak English. This is a statistically significant number of individuals considering the thousands of languages that are officially catalogued.

Many Asian Americans born in the States are not fluent in their mother-tongue, and those who’ve immigrated at a young age are starting to lose touch with their first language as they aren’t able to use it as often while communicating with those outside of their family. It's easy to see how a language becomes “dead” as each generation slowly assimilates to only using English within their daily lives. To date, there are 573 languages which are considered to be extinct, such as the Native American language of Eyak, Palestine’s Domari, and many more that are endangered. This loss of the mother-tongue leaves many Asian American youths in a limbo with their identity and connections to their culture.

It’s hard to communicate when words aren’t neatly translatable or are forgotten, resulting in a mix of “Engrish,” which is confusing for both the speaker and the listener. Vivian Le is a 21-year-old Vietnamese American student at the University of Central Florida who feels that it is difficult for her to talk to her family about serious and in depth topics.

“When I see anyone my age being able to speak English and Vietnamese fluently, I feel lacking compared to them,” she explains. Although she was once fluent in Vietnamese as a child, she feels that she had lost most fluency and tradition after her schooling within the American education system began. Her need to speak in Vietnamese went away as she spent more time apart from her family, needing to fit in with the Western ideals at school. Now, “it’s just the basics...the formalities. It’s just enough to get by,” Le says.

Communication becomes even more complex as many Asian languages, such as Japanese, Chinese, Korean and Vietnamese, include the use of honorifics, a form of speech used when speaking to or about a social superior, in daily conversation. In Asian countries, honorifics are used to address social titles and emphasize formalities in dialogue. For example, older brothers are referred to as “older brother” instead of by their first name. This is a concept that is not often utilized within the English language. It can often be confusing and challenging for English speakers, who usually use the same language to talk to their parents as they do their friends, to grasp the concept of addressing their elders by honorifics when speaking to them.

In Asian cultures, it is often seen as rude or disrespectful when one speaks in a casual tone to their elders. The lack of honorifics in English leads to a culture shock when first coming to an individualistic country like the U.S. Hearing kids call their parents by their first names is not an occurrence that is seen much within many Asian countries, who place heavy emphasis on respecting seniority. The lack of honorifics is one of the many ways that the Western idea of individualism is slowly taking over the mostly collectivist mindset that many Asian countries have. In the U.S., where youths are encouraged to leave home when they reach the age of eighteen to “discover themselves,” honorifics may be perceived as awkward and unfriendly as it is often used within formal settings rather than a part of daily life when speaking to close friends and family.

The stark contrast highlights the polarizing world that many Asian American youths grow up and live in today.

This contrast in culture leads many Asian Americans to shy away from their use of native language and the honorific form of speech, opting instead to embrace English with its more casual tone of use. This growing trend of learning English as a second language has had a large impact upon the loss of one’s native language. It is a problem that is often encouraged by the older generations as a means to be competitive in today’s economy and globalized world.

Shaina Nguyen is an English Foreign Language (EFL) teacher at Kindai University in Osaka, Japan. She talks about how there is a large discrepancy between the number of English-language-learners (ELLs) and the number of native English-speakers.

“There are over 300 million more people who have learned English as a second language as compared to people who speak it as their first,” Nguyen said. She explains how learning English is growing in popularity amongst multitudes of countries who aim to keep up with rising Western influences. She states that “a lot of my students are grown adults who had to learn English in order to rise in their careers, inside or outside their home country.” Although these ELLs aren’t leaving behind their mother-tongues completely, there’s a growing trend to push it aside for “advancement” and “opportunity.” Some countries even mandate that its citizens learn English as a foreign language, including China and Indonesia. Other countries like India have ended compulsory English-learning in its primary schools; even so, English is still India’s second-most widely spoken second language.

The major loss of homeland-tongues did not appear out of the blue. It may seem like a rising trend among younger generations, but really is just a domino effect from major globalization— or westernization.

It is easy to see how neocolonialism has pressured this gradual shift from preserving traditions to “embracing” more western ideals. Neocolonialism is the phenomenon of highly developed countries exerting influence over less developed nations by loaning money out only to collect crippling debts. Economics dominate daily life in any country, regardless of their economic status. Whether it be hiring cheap labor in China or the 1000th McDonalds opening in the Philippines, powerhouse Western money is infiltrating the entire world and is leaving its mark. That mark includes pushing these poorer countries to conform in order to keep business with the West.

A 20-year-old student at the University of Florida, Katelyn Castor, talks about her trip to the Philippines and the culture-shock she experienced overseas. “People seemed to welcome me more when I spoke English, rather than when I was trying my best to joke with them in Tagalog.”

“People seemed to welcome me more when I spoke English, rather than when I was trying my best to joke with them in Tagalog.”

“They didn’t like me when I wanted to blend in, when I wanted to be like them,” Castor describes. “Then, it was like I was a celebrity when I told them I’ve been schooling in the States all my life. That was a paradox I couldn’t ever wrap my brain around,” she says.

Learning English is popular to the point of detriment. It has become so important to other countries to learn English, that the people not only are losing their native language, but long-standing traditions. It’s no surprise when one isn’t as adept at a language, they cannot fully immerse themselves into cultural experiences tied to that language. Even if exposure to tradition manages to still shine past Western influences, it’s not the same experience without proper communication.

Cultural holidays, for example, could be majorly impacted without being able to speak in native tongues. The Vietnamese version of Lunar New Year, Tet, has traditions where children stand in front of their elders to wish them good health, wealth and happiness in order to receive “Li Xi”—little red envelopes of money. It is entirely necessary to say these magic words in Vietnamese, otherwise elders do not give out money. The problem arises when the younger generations choose to skip out on giving well-wishes in fear of embarrassment from flubbing the words or when they choose to say the same three sentences annually, leaving the heartfelt moment to become obsolete over time.

Although the repercussions of language-loss is evident, it is definitely possible to preserve what values are left without the native tongue. Many young Asian Americans stand true to their identity and proudly proclaim their heritage. Whether they lack language or don’t follow certain customs, these generations don’t reject their cultural identity, they fiercely embrace it.

Many young Asian Americans stand true to their identity and proudly proclaim their heritage. Whether they lack language or don’t follow certain customs, these generations don’t reject their cultural identity, they fiercely embrace it.

One student from the University of Central Florida, Anthony Peregrino, 22, explains how being active in school keeps him in touch with his Filipino heritage. As a child, like many others of the younger Asian American generation, his family would expose him to multitudes of beloved practices. As he grew up, these practices aren’t performed as often, but it’s cultural clubs amongst young people that makes him feel close to his homeland.

“I still interact with many [people my age] who are well-connected to Filipino culture,” Peregrino states. “We have clubs to remind us of long-time traditions.”

In today’s turbulent climate of differing opinions and COVID-19, it’s even tougher to keep in touch with our roots. Partisan stances and social distancing have widened the gap between the younger generations and older generations. Many are at war in their own homes about today’s situations and are left with only the option to continue to withdraw from one another.

Language plays such a large role in bridging these gaps. The native tongue is a stepping stone to preserving long-treasured customs and history. It reinforces fraying ties inside the family, as well as ties to the home country itself. There’s much at stake when languages disappear and it goes beyond just us. What happens when native-speaking generations have moved on from this Earth? It’s us left. This broken and butchered language speaking peer group will reflect the broken and butchered culture that remains. The hardest part will ultimately be the literal inability to give a proper goodbye.